Tag Archives: friendships

choices we make.

I mean think about it, on twitter you like someone’s profile picture or tweets, you follow them, they follow you back, you start favouriting and retweeting each other, and the DM-ing begins, you’l become great friends and the convo shifts to whatsapp, what say a new friendship begins. and you have a new favourite person. Now if you look back and think What if you hadn’t followed that person back? he/she wouldn’t have been able to DM you, and this friendship wouldn’t have happened!! how much of a difference it would have made in your life???

These last few months i have realised its all about CHOICES.

It is really all about the choices you make and people around you make..life is the result of these choices which effects you mentally, physically and socially. Destiny makes your path cross with various people..it all depends whether they or you communicate with each other. Most of the times we base our judgments on people depending on religion, jobs, personalities, and also definitely  thinking what other people would think if they saw me with someone like this. eg: if they are a doctor, everyone wants to get to know them but if they are a maid, why should i talk to you?

We don’t care enough to get to know the other person much unless they make an impression on us in someway. and sometimes because people are just jerks. and sometimes because you just don’t have enough time. if you think about it everyone has a story of why they are like that,, or what made them into being the person they are right now. 

And really speaking every new person you meet, good or bad, whether they stay in your life forever or just for a while they always teach you something new about yourself you didn’t know or leave you with a life lesson.

so meet new people, make new friends, don’t be scared of being hurt, or making mistakes,forgive people easily, don’t let people to take you for granted..don’t trust easily and don’t get too attached to anyone. people change. Its all part of life. and always keep your door open for all the new opportunities and people life throws your way.

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i hope this “life – people – choices” rant made sense to you guys. because if it did do leave a comment would love to hear your thoughts. 🙂 

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My Facebook Romeos ;)

so when random people send you facebook friend requests, fail english, stalkerism, real people or not? none of it matters,,,only “love and frandship!!”

Conversation started 6 December 2012
Faraz
06/12/2012 19:41

Nice Name… May I know the meaning of your name????

Conversation started 26 December 2012
Mustafa
26/12/2012 19:16

Hi how are you? Wanna be friends? if yes thn do reply

Conversation started 12 April 2012
Zaid
12/04/2012 23:02

AsSalamUalikum
I usually don’t go through
other’s profiles, but ur profile
caught my eye.
U seem to be an interesting person
I want 2 be friends
with u, but I avoided sending u a
direct request coz I don’t want u too be irritated.
So, if its ok with
U, can we be friends ?

Conversation started 29 March 2012
Syed Ghous
29/03/2012 14:31

hie there
how u doing??
we barely know each other but… PlzZz doN’T mind i mean janab ur soOo sweet
nice display picture
Please don’t examine any wrong meaning of my communication.

Conversation started 12 January 2011
Abdul Qadir
12/01/2011 18:27

hi, this is abdulqadir from salumber (rajasthan) looking for cultured dawoodi bohra girl i saw ur profile on dawoodi bohra singles if any further details add me on facebook or email : abdulqadir****@yahoo.com
mobile:+91969480****. thnx alot

Conversation started 14 December 2011
Favad
14/12/2011 11:42

hiiiii I saw ur like channel v india nd i dnt y i feel
like talking to u t8 y snding this msg just wnt be ur
frnd if u dnt jst rpy me iam snding this msg only u i
dnt knw wht special in u so
plzplzplzplzplzplzplzplzplzplzpl rpyyyyyy
plzzzzzzzzzzzz nd i knw ur online right now plzzz rpyy
Trust me plzzz nd rpy wht whtever ur rpyz is i ll w8
plzzz dnt make me w8 plzzzzzzzzzz
Plzplz
Plz Plz
Plz Pla
Z
Plz
Plz Plz
Plz
Plz Plz plz
Plz
Plz
if u dnt mind can i snd u frnd req i knw iam stanger
but trust me i promiss i ll nt break ur trust if break ur
trust than del me I ll nt like ur pic ni wallpost no commment i just talk u

Conversation started 18 November 2010
Huzaifa
18/11/2010 21:57

hi how r u can we be frz what u do reply

Conversation started 16 October 2010
محمد عويس
16/10/2010 18:32

hi Alefiyah how are u ……! hope u fi9 ….wanna friendship with me …..bcoz i need to some talk imporaent with u

Conversation started 24 September 2010
Rasheen
24/09/2010 13:57

hi
hii..will u be my frnd here..pls accept me in ur list

Conversation started 15 September 2010
Muhämmäd H
15/09/2010 16:01

Hi
How Are You ? Where you From ?
well nice Pix
take care
byee

Conversation started 17 April 2010
Facebook User
17/04/2010 19:04

I’m Richard b ,it nice to see you on fb.
i saw your picture (u re pretty smashing lady) and I’ll Like to know more about you, because I’m new here and i’m looking for a good friend,lover and good relationship too. and also like to read from u soon
And if u care to talk to me u can send me a mail on yahoo mail and here is my id.. Richard2biluv@yahoo.com …
You have a lovely day.bye
Thanks
Richard !!!!

Conversation started 4 March 2010
Jaanu Koolflameboy
04/03/2010 09:50

hi
hi how are u … whts ur yahoo id to cht with u ?

Conversation started 2 March 2010
Mashaal
02/03/2010 08:25

would u be my frnd
hey alefiyah I was new to the facebook, so I need a friend …. much to increase my knowledge

i found this amazing website scoopwhoop.com, they are incredibly hilarious! they had done a post on “50 incredibly creepy messages from Facebook Romeos” which (made me realise i could make my own blog post on the same topic) you could read here —-> http://www.scoopwhoop.com/story.aspx?menuid=2&contentid=45#sthash.COg0LX1L.RzgYf6UN.dpbs ,, do not skip it..its epic!!!

A heart touching Story of Friendship

This was a really awesome story i found online, i wanted to share it with you guys, 🙂  –

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books, and I thought to myself, “Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd.”

I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on. As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran right up to him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him.

Then he looked up, and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, “Those guys are jerks. They really should get a life.”

He looked at me and said, “Hey thanks!” There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried his books.

He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play football on Saturday with me and my friends. He said yes. We hung all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him. Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, “Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!”

He just laughed and handed me half the books. Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors, began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke.

I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship. Kyle was valedictorian of our class and I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn’t me having to get up there and speak.

On Graduation Day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than me and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous. Today was one of those days.

I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, “Hey, big guy, you’ll be great!” He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one), and smiled. “Thanks,” he said.

As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began.

“Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach… but mostly your friends. I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story.”

I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met . He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker, so his Mom wouldn’t have to do it later, and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile.

“Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable.” I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his Mom and Dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize its depth.

Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person’s life. For better or for worse. God puts us all in each other’s lives to impact one another in some way. Look for God in others.

“Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.”

I agree with this. Your one action can really change a person’s life. or motivate someone. And friends are the most important part about your life. A friend does have a major impact on you. Many times i have found myself being depressed and lonely. I don’t know if its hormones or just me. But a message from a friend on whatsapp or facebook instantly makes me forget about my  depression and i’m all happy and cheerful again. 🙂

Like Aristotle said –

“Man is by nature a social animal; an individual who is unsocial naturally and not accidentally is either beneath our notice or more than human. Society is something that precedes the individual. Anyone who either cannot lead the common life or is so self-sufficient as not to need to, and therefore does not partake of society, is either a beast or a god. ”

We are all social animals. I have never found or met anyone who “does not partake of society”. And now days there are so many social networking websites, I don’t think this generation can ever feel lonely, You can always connect with someone online or just call them up.

So, don’t judge people by their appearances, be kind to all and keep smiling 🙂

xoxo

Narcissistic Personality Disorder(NPD) – Powers of a Narcissist.

 

“I do not exist to build your ego with my pain.” ~ Roy McWilliams

“Withhold admiration from a narcissist and be disliked. Give it and be treated with indifference.” Mason Cooley

Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration and an extreme preoccupation with themselves.

I’m writing about NPD because one of my college mates has it and It has affected my college life majorly.  Very recently I came to know NPD existed and its a disease. My class mate who is a total bitch who has random crazy emotional outbursts and the way she would over react to everyday normal things all started making sense.

People with NPD are a big pain in the ass. They are very difficult people to be with. They can never be your true friends and they only think great of themselves. To them the rest of the world are losers.

They say this disorder occurs due to unknown reasons or due to parenting problems. My friend did have a screwed up childhood. The stories she would tells us about how her parents treated her were really cruel. I don’t know why any parent would handle their kid the way her parents did to her. Its not fair to any child.

Symptoms

A person with narcissistic personality disorder may:

  • React to criticism with rage, shame, or humiliation – my friend if she gave any class presentation and if the reaction from the class wasn’t positive or if no one liked her ideas. She would get bugged and start insulting you there and there only.
  • Take advantage of other people to achieve his or her own goals – she would take advantage like greatly. If she wanted to go to city center for only her work, she would take 2 other friends along who didn’t want to go. She would somehow convince them and just so that she wouldn’t have to  pay taxi money alone and it would be split among 3 people. And all this just for her work.

But if v asked her to come to citycenter for our work and if she wasn’t in mood. She would make sure she wouldn’t go.

And if the whole class is going on a picnic and if she’s not in mood of going, she would screw up the plan somehow or start convincing people how sucky the place is and by other negative comments. Extremely Manipulative.

  • Have excessive feelings of self-importance – she would think she was the best person in this world. Her other friends are stupid. Their comments are not valid. Make us feel inferior to her.
  • Exaggerate achievements and talents – She exaggerates on marks, assignments, where she stays, money. Literally everything.
  • Be preoccupied with fantasies of success, power, beauty, intelligence, or ideal love.
  • Have unreasonable expectations of favorable treatment
  • Need constant attention and admiration
  • Disregard the feelings of others, and have little ability to feel empathy
  • Have obsessive self-interest
  • Pursue mainly selfish goals

These symptoms totally exist. Yes, it is a disease.  First even I couldn’t believe it that such a personality disorder could exist. Now you must understand why I chose the above quote “I do not live to build your ego with my pain”,  Because I truly use to feel like that with her friendship. I use to feel her very existence in my life use to be a pain. At one point I hated her so much and couldn’t take it anymore I use to want to punch her in the face every time she opened her mouth and ranted another one of her fake lies.

Being a narcisstic’s friend this is exactly how I would feel emotionally exhausted, I could never rely on her and would be constantly undermined by her. She was bloody hell toxic to my life. At one point we had given her a name called toxic friend. Or Frenemy.  We use to hate her. Like how the world hated Saddam Hussain. Somewhere along the same hate lines.

But then the more I researched about it the more I found out that so many people in the world have someone in their life who is a narcisstic. It could be you, or one of your parents, or your siblings or a friend or co-worker. And It is not their fault really.  I’m really thankful to god that my parents or siblings are not narcisstics, i cannot imagine living with one. We need to understand they have a problem and somehow be smarter and not fall into their trap of manipulating everything according to what they want. Though, im still finding for a proper solution to deal with it, there’s no solution really.

You could cut off ties, Confront him/her, Maintain your distance.

We other classmates are dealing with her by maintaining our distance. The more closer we get to her the more it hurts us only. We are talking to her but she’s not considered part of our group anymore. We don’t trust her, we don’t even trust her to go n photocopy something. And not even the most simple task of checking if movie tickets are available online. Because if she doesn’t want to go for the movie, she will lie and say tickets are not available. Because even though she doesn’t want to go, she also doesn’t want us to go. She can’t see other people having fun without her. Again Manipulative behaviour.

This was a very interesting article I found online – http://www.readme.ae/articles/friend-or-foe

Do take time and read it. It was the first article I came across which made me think im not the only one suffering from such a friendship.

i hope you never have such a friend or family member in your life because these friendships/realtionships I have learnt only makes u do things in life which u regret forever. If you do, you need to realise you are not the weird one they are. And you need to stand up for yourself and not take their shit no matter what role they play in your life.

Reference of symptoms – http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001930/